Never Have Expectations
Upon my arrival home I was expecting a lot of surprise visits, gatherings, and dinners you name it. Let me tell you how reality quickly hit me though and made me realize that I have been giving out the friend title too loosely.
I was very disappointed but now I expect nothing from people. After going home I have learned that not everyone has the same heart as me. Moral of the story is this:
1.)RELY ON YOURSELF AND NOBODY ELSE.
2.)DO NOT CHASE PEOPLE
3.) EXPECT NOTHING FROM NO ONE
I find myself back in the same cycle as I was in a few years back. I often get too comfortable and attached to things and people too quickly. I have been in Korea for a year and a few months now and I have found myself relying on the friends I have made to explore Korea and to travel around Asia, and many times because of different interest or last minute not being in the mood they would cancel, and only person that will feel hurt and disappointed will always be me.
Going home and having to come back to Korea has made me realized that I rely on others too much. I also feel the need to get validation from people, especially the people I call friends or those I am in a relationship with, but what I have failed to realize throughout all these years and especially recently is that I:
A. Do not need validation from anyone
B. Is okay to venture off alone, after all I was the one that had the courage to up and leave everything that I have ever known behind to come to Korea
C. I AM FINE JUST THE WAY I AM, AND I CAN DO BAD ALL BY MYSELF
D. I am still a working progress and that is okay
Note To Self
Now that I am aware of my mistakes and I have come to accepting them, moving forward I will learn to really and I mean truly enjoy my own company. I will not wait around on others to explore Korea or Asia, or anything else for that matter. It takes and show courage to want to go out and do things alone.
I came here to experience, explore and to learn but as of late I have lost sight of that, like Nicki Minaj said in one of her songs titled, Can anybody hear me,“but like, I don’t wanna do it no more. Sort of lost sight of what i’m doin it for.” I have been feeling the exact same way, but this is a start for me and just like Maya Angelou taught Oprah, “when you know better, you do better.” I am simply in that state right now of doing better and learning to actually be comfortable in my skin and to be okay with my imperfections but most importantly, to be able to let go and continue on this blessed and amazing journey I have embarked on.
With all this being said, my new year’s resolution ARE as follows:
-Do what makes Meya HAPPY
-Book a trip and GO
-Book a hostel/guesthouse and GO
-Read more and do not doubt yourself so much
-Know that not everyone has the same heart as you
-Love yourself and believe in yourself
-When you actually say “KNOW YOUR WORTH”, believe in it and ACT ON IT
-Simply be comfortable in your own skin and LOVE YOURSELF AND FIX YOURSELF BEFORE TRYING TO FIX A MAN
-DO NOT FORGET TO BREATH
-Never let a man or anyone have power over you, especially when it comes to your emotions
-Is okay to let go of people who are causing you STRESS AND HEARTACHE
-Is okay to be single and to be happy, than to pursue or be in a relationship to simply say you are in one
I actually spent my lunch last Thursday researching and discovering new places I have yet to visit in Korea and of course Asia. To my surprise I found a lot of hidden gems in this beautiful country and it has made me fall in love with Korea all over again.
I am not now afraid to do things alone now, of course having company is amazing, but waiting on people will have you not experience life and leave you missing out on so much and leaving you with the feeling of disappointment. Live your life people and do what you want to do, because tomorrow is not promised. I do not want to be back home or anywhere else God decides to take me and wishing what if, pr there were so many things I could have, would have done, but because I waited on others, I did not get a chance to do them. Prevention is better than cure, and there is a saying that goes “when you know better, you do better” and that is what am simply going to do from this day forward.