I am Exhausted

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I don’t even know where to begin, but I will say this: I am exhausted. I am sick and tired, of being sick and tired. It took me years to embrace and love the skin I am in; flaws and all. I am reminded daily that I am different, because of my skin colour. I sometimes get an uneasy feeling, because I am always the only black person amongst a million Caucasian expats. I try my best to fit in, but the CONSTANT stares remind me that I am perhaps not welcome? I honestly will never know, but I push through daily. This experience has made me appreciate my skin colour more. The staring gets so uncomfortable to the point of me not wanting to leave my house. I will never be able to get use to this, but I will tolerate it.

I would like to also add, that just because we are put under one category, it does not mean our CULTURE, STORIES, RELIGION, and EXPERIENCES are the same. We have the same struggles, because of our skin colour. A black American, An African and a black Canadian are all different. We have the same history line and we all do come from Africa, but because of migration, our diasporic stories are different. I am a black Canadian; with a Nigerian background, so my story will alter from a black American, whose background is Nigerian.  The media puts us in one category to not allow us to celebrate our uniqueness and differences, which makes us ONE.

 

“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.”-Audre Lorde

 

How can our oppressors be writing our narratives? We need to be able to properly heal for our ancestors’ pain. We need to able to tell our TRUTH, without the fear of losing our platform. We need to fight for our presence in a white dominated society. We can’t leave it to the white man to tell us our history, anymore. We can’t let them push their standards of beauty on us, anymore. Enough is ENOUGH! We have to unlearn all we’ve been taught because it was to make us believe that they are somehow more civilized, smarter and better than us. We are made to believe that anything white is pure and anything black is unsanitary. We need to come together, as a collective and take control of our OWN NARRATIVES. You can’t be a voice for a struggle you can’t relate to. You can’t be a voice for the shoes that you do not walk in, every day. They are united and understand themselves, but do we? How are we to educate the young black generation about their REAL and true IDENTTYIY when all they read and has already given them their false identity? A wise being once said, something along the lines of; “in order to know ourselves, we must know and come to terms with our past.” We need to get back to basics and unlearn EVERYTHING we know or think we know. We need to read our narratives of our own, by our own.

We have to unlearn all we’ve been taught because it has brainwashed to believe that we are less and that they are more; that they are somehow more ‘civilized’ and that is absolutely bogus.  We are made to believe that anything white is pure and anything black is unsanitary. We need to come together, as a collective and take control of our OWN NARRATIVES. You can’t be a voice for a struggle you can’t relate to. You can’t be a voice for the shoes that you do not walk in. They are united and understand themselves, but do we? A wise being once said, something along the lines of; “in order to know ourselves, we must know and come to terms with our past.” We need to get back to basics and unlearn EVERYTHING we’ve been taught to be true. We need to read narratives of our own, by our own.

 

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Double Standards

It is okay for everyone to get BLACK features, but it is NOT okay for us to embrace and love them on ourselves.  When I was growing up, I would always get teased for having big lips, but now having big lips has become a trend. Imagine that!  I honestly did not start embracing my features until, maybe, my second year in college. Fast-forward, to 2015 or maybe earlier, when the Kardashians started to inject their lips and butts: that’s when it became ACCEPTABLE to have those features. Just like many black people, I was born with those features that they went under the knife for, but because of the shade of their skin, it was deemed acceptable. How can one embrace fake over natural? That is very simple: It is because the media has brainwashed us to believe the ideal beauty can only come in ONE form. It is okay to steal our blessed assets and embrace it into mainstream media, but it is not okay for us to love and embrace OUR GOD GIVEN ASSETS. It sounds stupid, as hell right?

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White Privilege

We live in a world, where we are reminded daily that white people are allowed to get a slap on the wrist, for EVERYTHING. It is exhausting and leaves us powerless. I also think a lot of black Americans suffer most from this, but that is because it is all the media shows us. Black Canadians and the Africans in Africa also suffer a great deal. I am not here to compare who struggles or suffers more from the white man, but rather to have us join hands to unite just like they have. Some White people, do not see their UNEARNED privilege. And I believe, that’s the root of the problem.  I read an article, called “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack”, in my second year of university, and my gosh, it is brilliant! It will sum up everything you need to understand and know about white privilege.

White Privilege, is holding a rally to promote hatred and violence, but to get away with not being called a ‘terrorist’, a ‘thug’ or ‘uncivilized’, because the media is controlled by your OWN.  Black lives matter, protesters were the “thugs” and the “uncivilized”- What a joke! If you are not outraged by what is happening, then you are part of the problem.

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The irony of this picture is sickening!

 

 

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Dear Black Women,

I know many of you are just as exhausted. I am sure many of you can relate to my day to day struggles. I know it is a battle to love and embrace what they see as ugly on us, but pretty on them.  Ladies, God created us with no mistakes: so we all need start living and embracing our God GIVEN features. It is hard, but we have thick skin. We will overcome all the stones that are thrown at us; One day at a time, just one day at a time!

Image result for it is not the colour of our skin that should matter martin luther king

Bonus Point:

I decided not to use the word ‘race’ because it is problematic for me. I don’t like that word because it reminds me of division and competition. It should be replaced with something, or perhaps maybe nothing at all. I am tired of all the labels, so removing race from my vocabulary is a good start. When I looked up race on google this was the first thing that came up:

Dictionary
 race1
rās/
noun
noun: race; plural noun: races
  1. 1.
    a competition between runners, horses, vehicles, boats, etc., to see which is the fastest in covering a set course.
    “I won the first 50-lap race”
    synonyms: contestcompetitioneventheat, trial(s)

    “Sasha won the race”
    • a series of races for horses or dogs, held at a fixed time on a set course.
      plural noun: the races
    • a situation in which individuals or groups compete to be first to achieve a particular objective.
      “the race for nuclear power”
      synonyms: competitionrivalrycontention;

      quest
      “the race for naval domination”
    • archaic
      the course of the sun or moon through the heavens.
  2. 2.
    a strong or rapid current flowing through a narrow channel in the sea or a river.
    “angling for tuna in turbulent tidal races”
    synonyms: channelwaterwaymillraceracewayconduitsluicechutespillway

    “the water in the race”
  3. 3.
    a groove, channel, or passage, in particular.
    • a water channel, especially one built to lead water to or from a point where its energy is utilized, as in a mill or mine.
    • a smooth, ring-shaped groove or guide in which a ball bearing or roller bearing runs.

    I am just going to leave this right here!

I woke up this morning feeling numb, so it inspired me to share my frustration. I am only speaking for me and what I see. Please share your ideas, opinions and stories of the state of the world, from your lens.

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